How all or nothing thinking is destructive

Just a quick note to say that all or nothing thinking really blows-- and that just because I didn't wear my pedometer one day, I don't have to decide the pedometer is for shit and I shouldn't wear it anymore.

So, I'm back to the pedometer, whenever I can conveniently wear it-- and will try for at least 10,000 steps per day.  Magic happens when I wear the pedometer-- seeing those steps adding up makes me jog in place at times, and take extra trips to the bathroom or walk around in circles.  These little fidgety moves add up-- I've even read about it.

As for eating: I had a comment from our lovely Gen (and some of my other faves--thanks for the comments, y'all) and she reminded me that giving up drinking my ONE drink per day may really NOT be the best thing after all.  More moderation is the key, I s'pose.

Another thing I'm going to do more of-- blogging.  When I'm blogging, I'm paying closer attention to me.  I'm being introspective, I'm sharing what's going on and I cannot hide from myself because I refuse to be dishonest to you guys. If I've gained weight, I just have to come out and say it, even if I'm ashamed and hurting about it.
That's the power of accountability without terrible, hurtful judgement.  I know that none of you are going to come onto my blog and tell me off if my weight is up (which is isn't-- it just hasn't changed much).. but you're going to know. And so am I.  And then I'm going to work on changing it.

It surprises me what people talk about how determined I am.  Rhonda (Cozy Coconut) said that in her comment to me earlier. I kinda think: isn't everyone as determined as I am? But maybe not?

Then the doubting side of my personality wants to say: you're just full of it anyway, you're not that determined... but where is that coming from? A vestige of my past meanness to myself.  But I've put down that bottle of negahol and joined "NA" (Negaholics Anonymous.)   SO: instead, I'll acknowledge that I am DAMN determined to continue to lose weight.  I just am taking a gentle approach to figuring out what to tweak (or continue to tweak) to keep losing.

Hence: I'm back to the pedometer (to add some more calorie burning) on many days per week.
Foregoing the alcohol some of the time.
Limiting down my desserts.
Eating a PROPER dinner... and that's the hardest one.

That was another bit of brilliance in Gen's comment to me: she, just like me, has this thing where if she cannot eat dinner, she gives up and then eats dessert... humbug. That is me to a 'T."

Some of you may think I'm too tight, but I'm not-- if I would just follow the goddamn rules (carefully, mind)-- I wouldn't have it rough.  But I really struggle to eat slowly and take small bites and wait between bites.

Clearly: I'm still on the learning curve-- so maybe if I just simply try the small bites, chew/ chew/ chew concept out with good foods again-- that is my best bet too.

Dunno, but I'll keep on trying.
Keep on reading too. I love you all!!