Today's meetings were very positive--looks like there are very serious possibilities with a former person who was in a leadership role vs. my own several positions ago.
Liked what I saw.
Next: hubs procedure tomorrow and a big drive. Fancy hotel.
Then- more more meetings…
I can't lie: I am really not eating well right now-- it is not even a fight I'm fighting… I'm going with it for the week, yes: 'comfort eating' to an extent. I am not intending to go on and on with it, but I think things will sort out when my hormones calm down (about to be TOM). Pre-TOM is the hungriest time-- and I am feeling it now with the fundamental stresses.
But things are really coming together.
I have reason to believe that things will be pretty settled down within the next couple of weeks- and I'll know where I'll be going during the week again… it's really all good in many ways that I can't share.
But it is all good.
Continuing to work on being zen- accepting what's coming- doing what I can do and going with the energy...
good ole ticker...
Monday, March 17, 2014
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Quiet week and BUSY week coming
This week was rest and recharge.
Next week I do not come to play. BUSY.
Next week:
Monday: Meetings on Monday
Tuesday:
Take hubs for routine endoscopy (he has heartburn controlled by medication- so needs this every 2 years)
Leave for Meetings out of town on Tuesday
Overnight in fabu hotel on Tuesday
Wednesday: Meetings on Wednesday
Thursday: memorial service for my father courtesy of the bar association on our county
Friday: start biting nails if I haven't heard anything yet about Monday and Wednesday (just kidding-but the clock will be ticking on hearing about the meetings.) OR Be as Zen as possible, put what I have out to the universe and accept what I receive in return.
Wish me Luck.
Next week I do not come to play. BUSY.
Next week:
Monday: Meetings on Monday
Tuesday:
Take hubs for routine endoscopy (he has heartburn controlled by medication- so needs this every 2 years)
Leave for Meetings out of town on Tuesday
Overnight in fabu hotel on Tuesday
Wednesday: Meetings on Wednesday
Thursday: memorial service for my father courtesy of the bar association on our county
Friday: start biting nails if I haven't heard anything yet about Monday and Wednesday (just kidding-but the clock will be ticking on hearing about the meetings.) OR Be as Zen as possible, put what I have out to the universe and accept what I receive in return.
Wish me Luck.
Sunday, March 09, 2014
Can't believe I haven't had time / compunction to post
Thank you all for your encouraging comments.
I'm doing fairly well-- I have moments of emotional distress over all of the events-- I am not going to say that it is entirely easy… but I am also feeling the way many of you mentioned in the comments.
This is my opportunity to find the right thing to make me happy. My last place was such a place of UN-happiness, bad treatment etc.
Important (to me) to note from the */b ullyin g/* standpoint-- it happens even at the highest levels. The trouble with those levels is that it is hard to get out of what is known as the 'golden handcuffs.' You need that *job--even though you also need to get out… so you have to suck it up. That is: unless and until you find your next opportunity or they get you first.
I am one tough cookie and I had to learn so many strategies, coping mechanism, overcome doubt, regret, depression… it has been a really serious journey over the past several years.
There is this great documentary that was on PBS on happiness. I'll see if I can find a link to youtube any portion of it.
I often think back to the portion of the documentary about the men imprisoned in the Hanoi Hilton. Quick explanation: these were men held as POW's and severely isolated and tortured over years. John Mc*Cain was one.
There have been studies of these men, and the striking thing about them is that they generally state they wouldn't trade the experience-- it has become woven into the fabric of their lives.
WOW.
One hero soldier, held in solitary confinement over many years, 'built' his dream home in his mind- brick by brick and over and over again… with lots of windows… to keep from going crazy from solitude and lack of hope. The documentary portion about him is filmed FROM THIS HOME-- which he ultimately built when he was released.
I cannot do it justice: it is SO moving.
Please understand !!!
I am not saying I am a POW-- I am not saying I fought in a 'war' or was physically tortured. But I related to and still relate to that man, and when I would speak about the situation in therapy, I would compare myself to those POW's. Of the many, many, many differences too many to count-- a major difference being that I *chose* to stay while I was there… and then I was made to leave in a final act of hmmmmmmm (insert proper wording here.) Sorry I am hedging once again, but this is like a diary entry-- but it could conceivably be found and I am not trying to do anything but express myself at this time.
Anyhow: I'm pushing through and am on the way to a new path- despite the suffering caused.
On another note, and important to fitting into my suits: I have not been eating my best-- the appetite returned. Bleh. At least I am exercising.
So: I'll be ramping up a plan for Monday-- maybe a modified liquid diet for a few days to dampen down my appetite. I need to be in my suits for some meetings a week from Monday and a week from Wednesday-- so I'd like to feel good when I slip them on.
I'll also be on a 'making myself ready and fabulous' week-long campaign in the coming week.
Home coloring (I do single process, very simple)
Hair cut / shaping
Self facial
Eye brow wax
Self-tanner for face and body
Daily exercise
Lots of water for good skin
Self manicure
Best to feel my best in every way for the following week.
I'm doing fairly well-- I have moments of emotional distress over all of the events-- I am not going to say that it is entirely easy… but I am also feeling the way many of you mentioned in the comments.
This is my opportunity to find the right thing to make me happy. My last place was such a place of UN-happiness, bad treatment etc.
Important (to me) to note from the */b ullyin g/* standpoint-- it happens even at the highest levels. The trouble with those levels is that it is hard to get out of what is known as the 'golden handcuffs.' You need that *job--even though you also need to get out… so you have to suck it up. That is: unless and until you find your next opportunity or they get you first.
I am one tough cookie and I had to learn so many strategies, coping mechanism, overcome doubt, regret, depression… it has been a really serious journey over the past several years.
There is this great documentary that was on PBS on happiness. I'll see if I can find a link to youtube any portion of it.
I often think back to the portion of the documentary about the men imprisoned in the Hanoi Hilton. Quick explanation: these were men held as POW's and severely isolated and tortured over years. John Mc*Cain was one.
There have been studies of these men, and the striking thing about them is that they generally state they wouldn't trade the experience-- it has become woven into the fabric of their lives.
WOW.
One hero soldier, held in solitary confinement over many years, 'built' his dream home in his mind- brick by brick and over and over again… with lots of windows… to keep from going crazy from solitude and lack of hope. The documentary portion about him is filmed FROM THIS HOME-- which he ultimately built when he was released.
I cannot do it justice: it is SO moving.
Please understand !!!
I am not saying I am a POW-- I am not saying I fought in a 'war' or was physically tortured. But I related to and still relate to that man, and when I would speak about the situation in therapy, I would compare myself to those POW's. Of the many, many, many differences too many to count-- a major difference being that I *chose* to stay while I was there… and then I was made to leave in a final act of hmmmmmmm (insert proper wording here.) Sorry I am hedging once again, but this is like a diary entry-- but it could conceivably be found and I am not trying to do anything but express myself at this time.
Anyhow: I'm pushing through and am on the way to a new path- despite the suffering caused.
On another note, and important to fitting into my suits: I have not been eating my best-- the appetite returned. Bleh. At least I am exercising.
So: I'll be ramping up a plan for Monday-- maybe a modified liquid diet for a few days to dampen down my appetite. I need to be in my suits for some meetings a week from Monday and a week from Wednesday-- so I'd like to feel good when I slip them on.
I'll also be on a 'making myself ready and fabulous' week-long campaign in the coming week.
Home coloring (I do single process, very simple)
Hair cut / shaping
Self facial
Eye brow wax
Self-tanner for face and body
Daily exercise
Lots of water for good skin
Self manicure
Best to feel my best in every way for the following week.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Downsizing- not the weight kind
I hesitated to note on my blog that my position was *eliminated* last week.
The good news is that, if you know anything about me, I am happy to be relieved of the position due to various items that I am not at liberty to review-- suffice it to say: better in my rearview mirror.
Additionally: while we are fortunate that hubs' business has taken off of late, I contributed the major wages, so it is somewhat scary. On the other hand: there are some contingencies, again, which I am not at liberty to discuss.
What I can say is that I am an executive with over 15 years of strat*egic manag*ement experience and expertise in op*erations… and if anyone is willing to share any leads, I'd be grateful as I am on the job hunt full time at this point.
Note: we are willing to relocate on the East Coast, to the West Coast and/ or certain states, especially Colorado! This is a real possibility due to my ca*reer level.
A long time ago, before I met my hubs, I had an on again, off again boyfriend.
A very close friend of mine said: "Until you get rid of that old shoe (i.e. your security blanket boyfriend/ relationship that is going nowhere but feels comfortable and safe)… you'll never find the right person."
So I did it. I broke it off and within 1 year, I met my hubs-- love of my life, soulmate, and supporter.
I believe that my w*rk situation is similar- though I didn't choose the break up.
I am NOT sad that it happened, I am relieved due to a variety of factors (back to the beginning of this email) -- and must be certain that I will land on my feet.
It is a time of uncertainty- but one in which I'll be recharging my batteries after several unhappy years… I'm looking forward to finding my next role and being very happy in it.
I've learned SO MUCH in what I do not want in an org./ culture etc.
There it is.
On the weight front: the good news is that I've committed to turning anxiety/ panic/ agitation (if/ when it comes up) into exercise!
I'll be drinking lots of water, taking good care of myself and fitting in my suits and looking great for interviews to come.
Also: since my days are far more freed up at this time: I have time to work out daily-- and will do for my sanity and health. It so happens that I purchased 10 sessions of yoga at a nearby studio that will expire by the end of April if not used, so now I can use those.
I will NOT be knocked down-- I will be standing. I will also be healing from a very difficult experience over the last few years… I'm happy that my family and I are all relieved of it.
Also: anyone trying to reach me can email me at my dinnerland email account-- I'll be checking more frequently in case any of my bloggy friends have leads…
dinnerland@gmail.com
The good news is that, if you know anything about me, I am happy to be relieved of the position due to various items that I am not at liberty to review-- suffice it to say: better in my rearview mirror.
Additionally: while we are fortunate that hubs' business has taken off of late, I contributed the major wages, so it is somewhat scary. On the other hand: there are some contingencies, again, which I am not at liberty to discuss.
What I can say is that I am an executive with over 15 years of strat*egic manag*ement experience and expertise in op*erations… and if anyone is willing to share any leads, I'd be grateful as I am on the job hunt full time at this point.
Note: we are willing to relocate on the East Coast, to the West Coast and/ or certain states, especially Colorado! This is a real possibility due to my ca*reer level.
A long time ago, before I met my hubs, I had an on again, off again boyfriend.
A very close friend of mine said: "Until you get rid of that old shoe (i.e. your security blanket boyfriend/ relationship that is going nowhere but feels comfortable and safe)… you'll never find the right person."
So I did it. I broke it off and within 1 year, I met my hubs-- love of my life, soulmate, and supporter.
I believe that my w*rk situation is similar- though I didn't choose the break up.
I am NOT sad that it happened, I am relieved due to a variety of factors (back to the beginning of this email) -- and must be certain that I will land on my feet.
It is a time of uncertainty- but one in which I'll be recharging my batteries after several unhappy years… I'm looking forward to finding my next role and being very happy in it.
I've learned SO MUCH in what I do not want in an org./ culture etc.
There it is.
On the weight front: the good news is that I've committed to turning anxiety/ panic/ agitation (if/ when it comes up) into exercise!
I'll be drinking lots of water, taking good care of myself and fitting in my suits and looking great for interviews to come.
Also: since my days are far more freed up at this time: I have time to work out daily-- and will do for my sanity and health. It so happens that I purchased 10 sessions of yoga at a nearby studio that will expire by the end of April if not used, so now I can use those.
I will NOT be knocked down-- I will be standing. I will also be healing from a very difficult experience over the last few years… I'm happy that my family and I are all relieved of it.
Also: anyone trying to reach me can email me at my dinnerland email account-- I'll be checking more frequently in case any of my bloggy friends have leads…
dinnerland@gmail.com
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