Oh no, not again! NO NO NO

Well, let me start by saying that I was up 3.5 pounds at this week's weigh in.

Pretty horrific from my standpoint.

But I hope, the wake-up call I needed. I've been playing around, taking many liberties and just not following the JC plan. For what it's worth, this all started a few weeks back when my JC food order got screwed up. Since then, I've been doing a bit of 'making it up as I go along.' I just wasn't ready for that.

I have no intention of losing all the ground I 'gained' with my weight reduction efforts. I also really don't think I put on 3.5 pounds of fat this week-- just impossible, I wasn't eating all day long, every day!

So, I had my JC consultation today and reviewed my plans with my JCC: basically, I'm hitting my JC menus hard. Every meal will be JC and I will use the structure to help me regain my footing. I ordered 4 more weeks of food, and in that time, I am pretty sure I'll be able to regain my confidence and continue forward on the program. Hopefully, I'll be able to lose at least 4 if not 8 pounds in the next 4 weeks... and technically, it's really a plan for 5 weeks b/c I planned out my JC menu for this week and I have all of my food in the house. So maybe, in 5 weeks from now, I can be 10 pounds lighter (very ambitious) or at least 5 pounds lighter.

It remains to be seen, but all I have to do is go back to the dependable JC structure and surrender to it. No special dispensations, just do it.

I'll be back to report my success. *Cross your fingers for me if you're out there reading this*-- I don't want to make myself a hypocrite and knowing I have readers of this journey increases my sense of committment and desire to prove to everyone, mostly myself, that I can overcome my weight issues once and for all and maintain a great balance with food, lifestyle, and activity choices.

A better update picture

Well, I hope it's clear that the picture on the left is 'before' and the picture on the right is 'on the way to after.'

Things are going well-- the last update picture I put up was not terribly flattering, but it was what I had... so I gave it another shot.

My new clothing goal: I'm planning to get into a pair of board shorts for swimming this summer!

I lost it! Part Deux

Yes, it's true: I am down another pound towards my goal... I am 1 pound from halfway (having actually lost 2.5 pounds this week-- 1 new pound towards goal since I'd gained 1.5 the week before.)

Oh happy, happy day for me!

I figured out a secret: I truly have to get rid of my 'fat' clothes and move down to smaller sizes-- I can't be truly comfortable at my weight right now if I want to change it.

It's tricky ground for me b/c I feel so good about myself and know that I am looking great (I think) and so much better than I was looking when I started just a few months ago. I have smaller clothes and hesitate to wear them, sticking with the larger.

Well that stopped a few days ago when I realized it was sabotaging my efforts.

Must run, little cutie calls.

Ambivalence aabout blogging...

The picture posted in this blog is from about a week ago... check out February pages for other pix.

I was sort of wondering if I should just let the blog go... but I came back today and see that some folks are still checking it out.

Thanks to my readers!

Clearly, it's been insanely busy and stress has definitely taken its toll.

Here a some updates--
1) I gained 1.5 pounds this week (cue violins). But I am back on track and looking forward to my next weigh in to at least even the score and lose those pounds.

2) I started PT for my neck (Thank GOD!) My PT is awesome and I know I'll get better soon.
Evidently my T1 vertebrae is rotated to the right (explaining much of my pain)-- and my right shoulder complex is very weak, the reason I keep getting this injury.

3) I got very crazy-worried about my son b/c he's very shy... my mother and some friends of ours both expressed concerns (he's 2.5 years old) that he might need some sort of professional assistance.
We talked to the pediatrician and she disagreed... and thankfully, my cutie-pie is now starting to open up and approach more kids to play with. Big relief... we're going to put him into some fun classes too for more social stimulation.

4) Here we go again-- it's Breast Health check time (usually September and March for me.) I had a total meltdown about going to a new breast surgeon on Tuesday of this week... even though the visit was benign and she didn't feel anything, I went crazy and had a horrible anxiety attack after the appointment.

I am better now, the anxiety attack was definitely due to 'repressed' anxious emotions... so I am preparing carefully for my March 29th Mammo/ Sonno visit.

I even bought myself a new fun Jennifer Weiner book to read during the very long waiting... a special 'treat' to look forward to on B-day. I hate it and am doing everything to make it bearable and even something to look forward to.

OK-- cutie pie is crying... must run.
More soon-- Ciao!

My life in an email

My parents went on a cruise and have email-- so my mom has sent some emails to which I've had no time to reply.

Of course, she got worried... I wound up sending her an update email and it ended like this, which I think is kind of comical:

Quoting Vanessa's email:
"Have fun, and I'll see whether I can carve out some time for some more updates tomorrow-- maybe after my ridiculously early 6:30 AM executive committee meeting (*Cries about having to leave the house before the crack of dawn and before Jordan wakes up*), but basically for us its as follows:

Vanessa: work, work, email rinse repeat, neck pain from trigger points (going to get PT starting next week), work, work, etc, come home be tired and sleep, work work etc. Overwhelmed, but doing OK.

Andre: Jordan Jordan Jordan, exercise, Jordan, diaper, Museum of Natural history with Jordan, Jordan, Target, reassure Vanessa, Jordan, etc.

Jordan: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Can you say "terrible two's"-- I can, but he is so cute that it's all good.)

I think that sums us up-- xo V"