Day 4

Day 4...

I would no longer classify my eating as purely liquids.

Rather, I'm relying primarily on liquids and focusing on getting my protein in easily and tastily.

I didn't drink enough plain water yesterday so I woke up and had water to start my day. 

I'm sitting here with my morning coffee considering today's plan.

Easiest for me to stick mainly with liquids .... Now that I feel more of a blood sugar and band reset, I'm going to favor protein and keep my calories down.

Fleshed out plan later.

Breakfast anyone?

Day 3

Going strong.

I'm not being rigid.  Small slider treat as a nighttime snack after a good day of smoothies and soup.

I'm going to incorporate home made tuna salad and egg salad to my repetiore as options.

And I got on the scale: 172.4 this morning.  Not as bad as imagined and much hope for a quick return to the 160's.

Starting slacks- taken 5/19/14

Day 2- liquid diet, heavy on the protein/ low on the carbs

Day 2- nearly 2pm, going strong.

Keeping up with protein drinks and soup and water to ensure I don't get too hungry!!

Feeling much better about things !

Onward….

The above is about all I could tolerate posting on my iPhone. I miss my Blackberry for typing quickly- but obviously, iPhone is about 10 zillion times better for Aps and other stuff.

So: I garnered my husband's support today for my liquid diet.  I am always concerned with his opinion and if he thought I was doing something unhealthy OR if he just didn't understand what or why I was doing what I'm doing right now- he could accidentally sabotage me.

I'm glad to say that I told him my 'one day at a time with liquids' plan for now-- but working to try to do it until 6/20/14.  Actually: he thought that was a nutty time frame (virtually a month) and agreed that he could get with 2 weeks and be supportive.  I don't meant to suggest that he is not a supportive guy- he is supportive, but we are so connected that if I sense that he thinks I'm doing the wrong thing, it is hard for me to comply with my own plans.  Does this make sense?

Anyhow: it is ONLY day 2 of a longish road ahead but here are some major plusses:
-Food chaos has STOPPED with keeping my list of allowed foods to protein shakes, fruit/ veggies smoothies, soups (and tuna/ egg salad- home made- when I feel like adding these)
-I am not feeling hungry or crave-y at all right now, thank you Band!
-I am feeling very proud of myself and focused on my efforts for lifestyle improvement, weight loss etc etc.
-I am feeling hopeful that in just a short time, I'll be able to try on my clothes and feel them getting looser.
-I am free of the scale at the moment.  I know damn well that my clothes will tell the tale, and that is what truly matters to me.  When my clothes are looser, I may decide to hop on the scale, but I am not playing that game at the moment.  It can be an agony when you are working hard, keeping on a strict plan and then not seeing the 'expected' drops in weight. ONE DAY AT A TIME!
-I'm back to blogging again- it's fun and I will try to spend some more time on commenting on all of my old blogger friends' blogs as I get back into it.
Maybe I will make some new friends too!

Downsides:
-I've set out to do this more 'drastic' eating approach for a number of weeks… it's just long--but my counterpoint is that I am never agreeing with myself to do more than ONE day at a time. I can always stop or decide to have a 'bonus' meal if I wish to do so.
-Ummmm.
I can't think of more downsides right now!

Off to fill up my stomach with some water and another protein boost. I am getting stomach grumbly and we DO NOT want that.
NO blood sugar drops!

One day down ...

It is closing in on 8pm (dinner and beyond being danger mode for me) and I've had an dedicated day of liquids.

Coffee

Water

3 protein smoothies (one with fruit)

Curried butternut squash soup

1 can coke zero

I'm going for another day tomorrow.

Oh for heaven's sake.

If anyone is still looking at my blog: 'oh for heaven's sake' refers to the fact that I said I was going to start posting again… and then…. kerplunk.

Well: I'm back to say that I'm going to be blogging again (at least for the next 12 to 24 hours.)  I'm committing myself to a one day at a time return to good band behavior.

Here's why: I have been very naughty. Sliders everywhere, sweets, chips-- STRESS eating.
Listen, when you are upset and you eat, it is because you think you deserve it  are in a wrong thinking mode.
Stress eating will make you feel much better worse in the long run.

Should I get that tattooed somewhere???

As our friend LapBandGal has on her blog: "If hunger isn't the problem, then eating isn't the solution."

My crap eating has led to some crap consequences that I really want to turn around:
I don't really much remember what it feels like to be hungry.
AND even worse: I also don't really remember what it feels like to be satisfied by anything I am eating b/c I am just eating junk with no limits.
When you just eat what you feel like, your band hates you and food tends to come up on you more than it should (ugh)  and it's just chaos.
ENOUGH.

I'd like to say 'Thank you band' for imposing some limits… I don't think I've gained 20 pounds or anything, but perhaps a nice 5 solid fat pounds.   I imagine my weight is up in the higher 170's.  I am not weighing myself (except for my clothes, and my clothes are tight. Gah) right now, but will do soon enough.

I want to say, by way of 'back on the wagon sharing' that I am going to do a liquid diet today.  It is the simplest way to get the most protein in and keep things very simple.  This is not a punishment at all.  It is a way to help myself get back on track without a whole lot of interference from my brain.
Simple rules to follow that are sanctioned by my own surgical practice which permitted me to go on a 2 week liquid diet before surgery-- so there is nothing wrong with going back to that for a couple of days if it helps.

I also have reached my official 'line in the sand' that I knew was coming. I've been working towards getting a certain position in my soon to be new hometown area, and decided that if I got the word that I'd be flown out there that I'd immediately turn my eating around so I can feel good about getting into a suit on interview day.  I don't know how long I have before I will be out there- but I want to take best advantage of the interim time to get myself 'right.'

However: I am literally in ONE day at a time mode… not feeling much confidence in myself (or trust) that I can even do ONE day of liquid diet.  But I am pretty committed (right now) and will do my best.  That is why I am blogging.

So, hope to see / you later b/c if you do, you'll know that I am sharing this reset journey...