The amazing magic of blogging and my anniversary and 158.1

Today is my wedding anniversary and I am such an asshole so busy that I've not had time to get either gift or card for my adorable hubs.  Fortunately: he is an understanding guy, and he knows he didn't marry the romantic type. But sheesh-- I didn't even realize it was the 21st until he came in and put a card on my bedside table before he went to bed (I usually hit the sack much earlier.)
GUILTY!

At least I am going to let him sleep in and encourage him to take the entire day off to do nothing but things he enjoys... once he picks up his car from the shop with me this am. Then, I'll be off to work and he works from home.   The summers are very slow for his line of work (and his business is still developing anyway)-- so an invitation to just dilly dally all day might be enjoyable for him. (He is very intent on keeping things up to date and clean in the house as that's our family agreement.  Since he is home and I work out of the home-- we have the upside down holly-hobby arrangement with the dad who does the cooking and cleaning in large part.)

This is another problem with being an adult.  You can actually go out and buy anything you want and need at any time... so gifts are sort of difficult to figure out for me.  I know a gift is supposed to be an unexpected  treasure, but I can't really think of what would be good for him right now-- probably b/c my brain is overwhelmed with during the week stuff.  I know that I suck a little about this... I'm sorry to hubs if you're reading.  I know I'll figure a way to make it up to him-- and I know that I tell him that I love and appreciate him all the time. (I'm handpainting his nunchucks for pete's sake- perhaps that can be my gift?)

Anyhow: after a brief pause, I think I am back to daily blogging.  It was getting a bit hard with the organization of my mornings with the puppy etc.  However: I think things are falling into place with her routine a bit more.  We've finally settled on keeping her crate in the kitchen and she is sleeping until the late hour of 5:15 am (I am trying to get her to sleep later, but she is a 'morning dog'-- like her mommy.)  Then she wakes me up, I take her for a little walk (by my pedometer, about a half mile) and we come back in.  As I write this, she is playing around and with me... she loves fetch.  What a strange dog. (Ha.)

I got on the scale this am: 158.1.
This is a happy number for me-- not the best I've done (remember, I was down to 155.something when I could barely drink anything during my too tight episode)... but I think REAL low to date is 157.5.  So... I'm closing back in on that.

Check me out one year ago... if I needed a boost, a year's time lapse certainly helps me see that I am making progress:

July 21st, 2010 post by DL

I also think that my little efforts may be paying off. The extra walking, the decreased drinking, (not sure about the desserts part-- need to get a better handle on that one...)-- that may be why I am pleasantly 'surprised' to see 158.1.

I'm gaining confidence back that I CAN do this!! Yay again.

In many ways, I feel that this blog is the proverbial broken record-- but as I've said, over and over again: it is the place to come to express myself, be accountable, and to have a like-minded community.  Sometimes I see myself and say "wow-- I had weight loss surgery"... because it hasn't really taken over my identity at all.  Only a certain few close people in my life know about it, that'd be my parents, inlaws, sister and her family, and a few close friends.

Now: I can't account for gossip, so there may be many more people at my old j*b who know (I told a person there with whom I've since fallen out, and she is a big gossip...)-- but I am well and truly finished with that place and most of the people there.

One of the people in my current place actually had a gastric bypx revised to a lap band recently but this person is in a subordinate role to mine and so I don't say much.  She did tell me that she was in the ED due to some stricture or whatever, and little did she know how much I understood.  But with all the gossip in the current place I am -- I'd never tell.  Believe me, the circumstances are such that I should not say a word, I don't need more tongues wagging about me.

I just had a really competitive thought about the person I'm mentioning above.  Wondering how much she has lost...will she get thinner than me? This is pretty unlikely as she is starting at a high, high weight and I'm almost there and still going.  I'm just being honest about this feeling of competitiveness.  I used to get it a lot and it felt terrible when I saw someone I knew lose weight and I knew I was heavy as ever and just afraid that I'd be gaining more...

Back to reality: I've got to keep going and I actually think that the path I set out the other day is the way to do it! I just need to stick with it, and I don't need to be perfect.

Let me reiterate the plan as I see it in my head today:
Daily Goals/ Suggested Behaviors:
*Walk at least 10,000 steps per day
*Limit alcohol consumption, go for every other day, some of the time (still looking at this one...)
*Focus on getting in protein, fruits, and veg before any processed foods...
*Dinnertime is always tough: focus on SMALL bites, SMALL portions, and chewing a lot. Work hard to limit frustration that leads to extra dessert... maybe try some relaxation tea before eating?
*Get a hold of dessert habit-- choose a good dessert and call it a day!
*Water !!!

That's all for now, folks...