169.2... moving on down

I told you guys!! This fill is working for me... and I am very excited.
I am genuinely thrilled to share this new (albeit slow moving) success down the scale.  And I'm sharing not only to brag- because I am so thrilled- but also to tell you that IT CAN BE DONE.

Robin from "Robin's Band Theory" commented on my blog yesterday and wrote something like, "You're nothing if not tenacious!"
Her comment really struck me.  My reaction deserves a bit of psychobabble breakdown, so here goes.
[Robin, this is all about my emotional world, and not really about your comment, ok?]

At first, in my high state of oversensitivity and overthinking, I kind of took that comment to mean, "Well, you may not be successful, but at least you're trying!"  The reason that reaction came up was that it has taken me good and long to drop a few ounces on the scale.  That's not very successful, is it?
Huh? Is that really what that comment meant? NO!

Next, I thought, "Well, who wouldn't be keeping on, who wouldn't be plugging away and being tenacious-- isn't EVERYBODY refusing to give up until they succeed?"  Um, sadly, NOPE.
A classic 'Dinnerland' response if there ever was one. I often think of things where I am relatively 'pitbullish' as non-negotiables, even though they are choices I make. (Therapy is good you know, my therapist pointed this very thing out to me.)

I should not assume that everyone would continue to plug away at the band process, and that everyone would continue to push and push until they reach their ultimate goals-- that is ME, not everyone. Perfect case in point: look at all of the drop out bloggers.
We, you who are reading and those among us who blog on a consistent basis, are a community of 'pluggers' -- us experienced bandsters- and we're going to keep trying. It doesn't matter if we're plateaued for months at a time.  Our commitment shows in the regular 'exercise' of coming back to our friends here and keeping accountable.


Finally, I got around to thinking that Robin gave me a nice compliment, plain and simple.
She was giving me a little love for sticking to things and not giving up.  Enough said, and she is right.  Now it is time for me to give credit to me too!

I am proud that I am sticking with it and I want to share the hope with anyone out there who is also struggling.
I have to admit to a rising feeling of tension, aggravation, and fear of failure over these past few months.  I mean, there I was progressing along, slowly, yes, but moving down the scale-- and then in October, I just got stuck where I was in this awful cycle of 170-174, with the occasional visit back down to 169.9.
I tried the old-fashioned diet approach, and momentarily dropped to 168.2 for one day ... but that just caused rebound behavior for me. I tried formatting diet plans etc etc.. Nothing.
I went for an unfill (October 1st) then a 'refill' (November 11th) and FINALLY: for another fill that made all the difference (December 8th.)

The refill took me to a HIGHER fill level that I was at when I had the unfill-- which really confused me. I was a 7.3 cc's when I had an unfill b/c I was 'too tight'-- and then had .2 cc's removed, which made me feel better but did nothing for my weight loss.  My last fill-- added .2 cc's to 7.4-- and that's what made the difference!!
The moral of the story is that you can't overthink the AMOUNT of fill you have in your band-- just go with it. Who knows, maybe it is the weather that makes it more tolerable for me to have more in the band-- or maybe that is just what I needed all along (probably.)  Instead: You have to keep going back to your doctor until you're at the right fill level-- and you have to go back and go back again and keep going back until you reach your goals and are in the right place.

Yes: it is a serious commitment, and I know some of us (like Gen,) have more challenges literally getting to our docs.  That just makes the process take longer.  But it won't defeat the band if we all keep on.  I believe there have been studies in the medical literature (Barbara? You are the medlit junkie-- do you know what I mean?) that correlate the number of return visits to the doc in the first year with band success.  I'd expand that one step further:
I believe that we all can succeed, in whatever time it takes, as long as we keep returning to our practices and keep working with our docs.

That's the hopeful place I'm in and I definitely want to share!
Have a great Saturday, y'all.